Wednesday, 9 November 2011

08/11: GREATER LOVE HATH NO MAN ......

Here's one I prepared earlier

Knowing I wouldn't be home today (voluntary job at Pilgrims Hospice eBay shop) I just couldn't resist writing this Blog Post (yesterday)

David came home this afternoon (yesterday now) and prodded me in the back ... inviting me to guess what he was holding ... guaranteed to bring tears to my eyes !!!!!    Well, really HOW RUDE!!

Here's the 'offending' object:   -  it looks slightly strange as its wrapped in cellophane/clingfilm  here


Well, its something I've been craving for some time - I just love horseradish ... but unfortunately its not easily grown in the UK and we have to settle for the wishy washy creamed horseradish we find in jars in the supermarket.  But BLISS!!   David saw this root for sale, immediately thought of me and purchased it!!    I just love the stuff (and even mix it with mustard for a further kick sometimes)!

Now if you've never tried to grate this wonderful root - be warned!!!   It will make your eyes and nose burn and must be treated with extreme caution and only grated in a room with good ventilation - hence my Blog title.       David used the food mixer/blender but ... even so ... it definitely reduced him to tears and made him choke!!    So ... as I said, No greater (grater) love etc....

But I found a way to show my gratitude ......

I went to school in the days when we had morning assemblies and it was considered important to learn the three Rs ... to have to recite multiplication tables forwards and backwards and have class spelling tests (with no holds barred - to hell with the kids who struggled - we can't all hold back for your sake - life's a bitch) etc ....  At my primary/junior school some of the lessons were broadcast via special school radio programmes.   One such  English lesson struck a nerve with me - so much so that I memorised  the poem we heard and I still remember it perfectly today - periodically I reel it out for David's edification.   He hates this poem - or at least he hates it when I start reciting

David has no soul and no appreciation of the fact that 43 years on I'm still word-perfect ...   Hilaire Belloc's book 'Cautionary Tales For Children' was published in the UK in 1907 but I'm sure it must still appeal today with its tales of naughty children being devoured by lions or crushed by falling statues .... I played this audio link today and I'm 100% word perfect - how amazing is that?  especially when I barely remember what happened yesterday!

Still have to convince David who cringes if I start reciting ... There was a Boy whose name was Jim ... etc
If you want to hear the whole tale - click the link below

Hilaire Belloc Cautionary Tales for Children

Apparently a revised version of the book is available through Amazon ... I'm very tempted!   There are a lot more lessons to be learned

5 comments:

David said...

THIS IS A SCAM
DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK OR YOU WIL BE BORED TO DEATH
I HAVE BEEN BORED TO DEATH TIME AND TIME AGAIN IN THE PAST 14 YEARS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

DAVID
(MR HORSERADISH)

Jan/PetsToPosies.com said...

Have never heard of that book but will go check it out after I leave here. Congrats on still remembering it!

We have horseradish planted and are waiting for a heavy frost to harvest it. You could take a piece of the root that David brought and plant it & it would probably grow (& take over your garden! lol) Enjoy what you have!

Doreen Cross said...

WOW did you remember all that.

I went to a school just like yours. I didn't much like school.
History was a prod in the boobs by the male teacher.
Maths was a scary spinster teacher. being left handed..I had a few blood spills down my head for being left handed.
We had 12 prayers to learn for exams....I closed my eyes and picked one. Learned it off by heart.. I came first in class. wow the only time I came came first in anything.
I still remember that prayer...every word of it.

OMG were they the good old days.

I can relate.

sue said...

Thank you 'Mr Horseradish' (David) you certainly HAVE NOT been bored during the last 14 years .... and thats a statement not a question :-)

I tried once before to grow horseradish and it failed Jan ... obviously didn't like our soil here.

Hi Dors ... Do you know I loved my primary/junior school - they encouraged competitiveness but they gave me/us such a good grounding that Secondary school was boring as we waited for pupils from other schools to catch up. I hated school from my teens on!

Jennifer Rose said...

"prodded me in the back ... inviting me to guess what he was holding ."
o.0

so many bad jokes spring to mind....:p